Murphy's Medicine

If I ever find Murphy and his law, I'll clone him so that each of us can take our time killing him.
Why?

How many times has something happened to you according to this well known mantra:
"If something can go wrong, it will"?

Early Friday afternoon, I started to feel a slight pain in my right foot. Nothing major, just an irritating throb. So I did what most guys do. I walked it off.
The evening the pain was still present, but barely.
Saterday morning dawns: The first sunny weekend for me in Sweden in two months. Relatively little snow littered the sidewalks. Perfect day to take a stroll to Oxelösund's old town, about 3km from my apartment.

The pain from yesterday is still there and while I walk it gradually gets worse. I adjust my steps, taking more weight on my heel and not really bending my foot forward and manage to eliminate the pain!
Unfortunately, I just headed in the general direction. Like most guys, I didn't bother studying or taking a map. I mean, it's just a couple of km's that way. It would have been in summer, but while the roads and sidewalks are refreshingly easy to navigate, crossing the fields are not an option for me. I'm not going to plow through who knows how deep snow drifts when there is a perfectly fine road curving around halfway back to where I started that will hopefully get me to my destination.
I didn't get lost. I, like Granny Weatherwax, don't get lost. I always know where I am. It's the rest of the world that has a location problem.
But pretty soon I had another problem. I could see the Baltic Ocean shimmering just ahead, when I felt the start of a blister on my heel from my awkward and unnatural gait.
Brilliant.
To keep the blister from chafing, I have to bear suddenly very potent, sharp stabs of pain on the bridge of my foot.
I didn't leisurely stroll around for over an hour just to turn around when I was so close to my initial destination, so I carried on.

The Baltic Ocean.

The old town.

Boats on wet "land"

Frozen sea.

A Cafe!...closed during winter.

and one VERY green house, that hopefully looks a lot better during the summer.
The stopping and staring at the peaceful scenes were rejuvenating, at least until I was halfway home. Then my foot started rubbing me the wrong way again. Literally.
I stopped to get bread and milk and brandy and coke on my way home. I was not going home empty handed.

Got home, refreshed my spirit with a single spirits and examined my foot.
It wasn't green (no gangrene), black (no frostbite), blue (sprained) or red (inflamed).
In fact. Just by looking at it, it looked fine. Even when I prod and finger it, at most I get a dull pain on my bridge, so probably not broken. But if I just try to move it up or left or right....
I am exaggerating, but I think breaking my leg was less painful.
I started rummaging through my closet for my go-to medicine.
There are basically 6 things I keep in my "medicine cabinet/plastic shopping bag in a closet/box in the drawer" back home.

1. Disprin. The only aspirin I ever need. For any ache or pain and even to help me sleep on the very rare occasion that I can't.
Unfortunately, they don't have Disprin here in Sweden. They have aspirin, but not disprin. It's like the difference between Coca-Cola and that other fake stuff.
Fortunately, since I only believe in disprin and not in any other aspirin, I brought some with me.
Unfortunately, the whole box was ruined. Somehow, the pills got contaminated and grew purple hairlike stuff on them. I'm NOT going to risk taking them. Yet.

2. Betadine. To keep a wound clean, I use betadine. (See what I did there?)
Not going to help me now. Not unless I carve up my foot to get a closer look.

3. Lennon's Jamaika Gemmer solution.
Mixed with some brandy and warm water, all your stomach problems are history. In fact, it is so good, that sometimes only SEEING the bottle can settle your stomach. Or would if you knew what it tasted like.
Also not going to help me now. (And I'm not spoiling the brandy today.)

4. Sinumax. There is just one headache Disprin can't do anything for. And that is a sinus headache that throbs just behing the eyes.
No help there.

5. Toothpaste. Technically not medicine, but it does wonders for me whenever I burn a finger or hand, which usually happens whenever I try to make something more intricate than toast for dinner. Probably an old wives' tale, but since they got to be old wives with all their tales, I tried it once and have had great success with silly burns since. It burns the living daylight out of you for a while, then it goes numb and there is hardly a blister and the mark goes away with time. I am, however, not suggesting that bathing in a tub filled with toothpaste will help with 3rd degree burns or anything. The things I mention on this blog are stuff that I, a renowned idiot, do and it is not intended as medical advice or treatment and I cannot be held responsible for plaque free, excruciating burns or any other negative effects. I am obviously not a doctor. (Sue free? Even in the US?) If, for some reason, anything I say helps you make massive amounts of money, a donation will be received with open arms and a big smile. No kicking gift-horses on my watch. Definitely not in the mouth. Although, a chew on my foot by a horse might help with whatever is wrong down there.

6. Voltaren gel. For sore muscles (not the salty, disgusting kind) and inflammation. The diagnosis, according to my own independent check-up by my most well-read personality, seems to be some kind of stretched or hurt muscle. Moving my foot around by hand only causes pain at the farthest points. Moving it by with my mind (via nerves and muscles..not telekinesis; although that would be something!) causes a lot of pain.
Unfortunately, I did not have the foresight to bring along voltaren or keep some in stock.
Unfortunately, unlike back home, shops close very early on Saturdays and only open on Mondays. Pharmacies closest to me, specifically, Monday 10:00a.m.
Fortunately, I did not need to limp to the nearest closed Pharmacy to find that bit of information. Thank you internet.

One lucky thing about heading home, was that barely half an hour after limping up the stairs, clouds started to blow in and it started raining! I already felt sorry for myself. How much worse would I have been dripping wet as well!

Even though Sunday also started out sunny, I stayed home. Kept my foot cold with some ice. Warm with a heater. Slapped it around with towel. And finally just left it alone, climbed in bed and watched movie. Legend of the Guardians. Good enough story, but the highlight was the brilliant animation. Really enjoyed it. Luckily my foot didn't fall asleep during the movie, else it might have kept me up all night.

Fortunately, the blister on my heel never swelled or burst and though it itches like an illegitimate offspring, it is a good sign of healing taking place.
Survived the 2km walk to and from work today, although at half the usual pace, with only one stop this afternoon. The pharmacy to pick up Voltaren.
I hope it is not only a psychological effect, but my foot already feels better.

And I know this is one Loooooong post with a capital long, but there is more to blame on Murphy.
I'll keep it short.
Problem: Software installation on work pc fails
Solution: IT department. IT department looks, recommends format and reinstall Operating System (Windoze).
Problem: Worker doesn't have time for that
Solution: requests testing of said software installation on other system. Also fails. No format and re-installation needed.
Problem: software install program faulty.
Solution: Get older version. Works!
Problem: Malware piggybacks on old version and crashes pc.
Solution: Anti virus/malware program....turned off during testing of software installation.
Problem: Malware prevents start up of anti-whatever programs or download and installation of new ones.
Solution: Safe Mode with Networking. Internet with step-by-step guide to remove specific malware. Skype buddies. Very long, thorough scan.
Result: Malware free. Time lost = Might as well have formatted and re-installed windows.

If you haven't guessed it yet, I am my own Murphy.
Post again later. Maybe. If I survive myself.

Njoy!

Snowing, snowing, gone.

I think it has finally happened. Winter has turned tail and is running. Fast.
It might double back every now and again to spit flurries and whip us with icy weather, but slowly and surely it is going away. Next stop: Southern Hemisphere, but don't worry. It still has a long way to go.

The past week has had almost no snowfall, a day or two of drizzling rain making every venture onto a sidewalk a balancing game and, touch wood, so far I'm winning, I'm winning! (And I can't ever say that without thinking of Rowan Atkinson in Rat Race. You know. The guy who plays Mr. Bean.)

For the first time in months, I saw sunlight after half past 4 in the afternoon. I was a bit confused at first when I stepped outside of the office and saw the yellowish orange glow dimming into the blue that starts impossible light blue and changes to black without any discernible colours in between. Glanced at my watch and wondered if I left work an hour too early. Luckily not. The long nights are shrinking at about 7 minutes per day; going from less than 6 hours of daylight in December, to round about 20 hours in July.
In a couple of months, I'll have to start getting used to long days. And I can't decide whether it's going to be a good thing or a bad thing.
The people up here might be used to it, but I'm definitely not used to seeing the sun at 9 or 10 at "night". I have no problem with the sun being up before me. THAT I'm quite used to. On weekends the sun sometimes beat me up even in December over here.
If things go according to plan, I'll be in northern Sweden/Finland/Denmark in June and even see the Midnight Sun.

This travel blog photo's source is TravelPod page: Land of the Midnight Sun

I am probably being optimistic and hopeful, but I (think I) can even feel the change inside me.
Not that the winter and snow and being cooped up inside made me depressed and all doom and gloomy. Not at all. In fact, I relished the excuse of not being able to go outside. Want to know how many books I read, games I played, movies/series I watched? Lucky for me I didn't keep count and I'm not going to. I might just be a bit ashamed. Well...and a little proud.
But I am yearning for a bit more...space I guess.
Even though I love lazing about, it does get boring after a while. Besides, how can I miss lazing about if I don't get out and about?
And yes, I could go out and about during the winter and snow, but why?
It got dark before I left the office until this week.
I have to look down when I walk, not because I'm shy, but because I don't want to slip on a patch of ice. The sidewalks are often quite narrow cobblestones that are extra slippery, and regardless of the fact that I don't want to embarrass myself, I really don't want to slip into the path of an oncoming car that can't break due to the icy roads. (I am happy to be one of the weird guys on the bus and not one of the stressed drivers on the road.)
On the other hand you have to keep an eye up as well, because snow or iced stalactites dropping from three storeys high can be dangerous to your health.
I know these are extreme cases, but I can't help it.
It simply isn't fun walking around in such circumstances. If it had been a thick layer of snow, that would have been fine. I'd have put on my big boots and stomped through it, but I didn't.
It still isn't that much fun. Especially not when you're travelling/touring alone.
I spent a lot of time in such snow in Canada and I have great memories of all the things I've seen, but not always such good memories of all the things that I've done.
Which is another reason, you won't find me skiing.

Tried downhill tobogganning. Went great the first few times. The last time (obviously), was "great". Picked up good speed, slid farther than ever, flew a bit through the air and crashed onto the road, wrenching my arm. Nothing serious, but my shoulder and elbow did ache for a couple of days.
Tried tobogganning behing a four wheeler. Lots of fun if you do it safely, but when the sled stops because of hitting something...anything...you don't. Hitting the snow face first wasn't something I wanted to do, ever again. Fortunately, it didn't happen again on the toboggan.
Unfortunately, it happened at a much faster speed, much colder event and included the same shoulder from the downhill jarring as a bonus.

Yes, I failed spectacularly at dog sledding. It is imperative that when you try to help push the sled along with your feet, you not trip and fly a few feet through the air into the snow. It is not as soft and cuddly a landing as you might think.
Like I've stated before. All in all, I love snow. Love watching it. Just look at that picture!
But I don't really like spending time IN it.

And that is why I can't wait for the winter to end. For the white to melt away and be replaced by glorious green. And in anticipation of greenery, I've decided to do my best to spend St Patrick's Day in Dublin, Ireland this year.

So that is March's getaway sorted out, but I still can't decide where to go in February.
Or rather, where to go to first. Athens, Barcelona or Budapest.
Oh well. I'll just sleep on it. Again.
Njoy.

It's a kind of magic

It's a fact. I like stories. No. I love stories. Any stories in general, but the weirder and more way out there it is, the more I enjoy it.
Small wonder I'm a huge fantasy and sci-fi freak.
Read most of the "great" fantasy works, and seriously looking for new stuff so any ideas??

I also prefer the book to the movie. Take Lord of the Rings as the ultimate example. Even though it is by far the best fantasy movie/series (for me), it is still a far cry from the book.
Not because they had to drop a lot of stuff because of time and budget limits. I understand all the limits that time, money and reality/science place on the making of such a movie.
I really tried to judge the movie not by the book, but on its own. And it was superb...but...
you are subjected to, in this case, Peter Jackson's idea of Middle Earth, the actors' portrayals of the various characters and the screen size.

Now take the book and read it.
No matter how much detail the author uses to describe a character, not one of us will imagine the same person.
No matter how specific their actions are spelled out, in each of our minds they will do it a bit differently.
No matter how life-like the environment is sketched with words and coloured in with sentences, it doesn't beat the fascinating expanse bursting through our mind, filling everything, not just a square screen, populated in even the smallest detail without thought as we follow the heroes on their journey.
And that is where the magic starts. The book, the story, is influenced by us. It becomes something much more personal than just a stream of pictures and sounds.

I had a good friend who described one part of Gandalf riding Shadowfax as follow:
In his mind he could see Gandalf sitting astride the great horse, and while the horse ran, legs pumping, the duo seemed to stand still against the sunset (or sunrise...my memory often lets me down), while the earth moved beneath them.
No matter how hard I try, I fail to do his idea justice by those words, but I understood what he meant. And that is something that I've never seen done on a movie and I doubt they could do it with the same magical effect it had in our minds.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic - Arthur C. Clarke

But one of the greatest magics in our lives are stories! Something that has been around since the first man spoke the first words. You don't need "advanced technology" to believe in magic, experience magic. All you need is a good story...preferably a good book. Some characters become like old friends. You are happy with them. You are sad with them. You are anxious when they are in trouble, angry when they are tricked and joyous when they conquer their foes/obstacles. You even miss them when they're gone. I don't remember how many books I've finished, wishing that it wasn't finished. That the story could still somehow go on. That the people and cities and worlds could live again in my mind.

But there is something else that is just as magical to me, but much more mystifying.
Dreams.
One of my greatest wishes is that I could remember my whole dream upon waking, instead of just shadowy snippets that disappears with the dawn.
Sometimes a dream can feel so real to me, that I wake up bewildered! What am I doing in bed? An instant ago I was...I was....somewhere...where was I?
I regularly experience a sort of "controlled" dreaming, although that is probably the wrong word. When I go to bed and relax into the softness, I start to, well I guess the most appropriate word is daydream. My imagination starts running wild and, though controlled at first, as I start to slip away into sleep, it breaks away and takes me places so weird and wonderful that I wish I could describe them or the events, but then for a single moment I'll realise I'm dreaming and snap awake and all I'm left with is lingering images and recollections that dissipate into a feeling of ultimate contentment and fall asleep to dream some more through the night. Usually they last only a minute or two, but they could feel like glorious hours.
Unless it's a dream where I suddenly trip or stumble or fall and I physically waken myself with a big spasm! But luckily, that is the closest I've ever come to a nightmare, as far as I can recall.
But those few times of rude awakenings are a small price to pay for the wonders of dreams.
For it is not only that unbelievable places and events can take place in your dreams; not only that your imagination can be as wild and untamed as it wants, creating things you might never think of during the day.
But in our dreams, those who've passed on to the next life, are as real and close and wonderful as they always were. And even though it is just a dream, in our dreams and in our memories they will live on with us, until the day we meet again. How is that not magical?

“Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.”
Marsha Norman

So have a good night and absolutely amazing, magical dreams. Even if it's not of me ;)

Kooking with Koko

Yep. You read it right. Kooking with Koko.
Why?
Well, some extra filler for this blog obviously.
And because it answers most asked question number 2.

"What do you eat over there?"

My friends and family have a misguided idea that I'm finicky about food.
That's not totally true. I may have certain preferences, but I'm very easy to feed.
Except for a few obvious exceptions, like tripe, cats, liver and rats, if it's meat, I'll eat.
Add to that bread, potatoes (in whatever form), rise or stuff like that and I'm more than happy.
Or mostly the nearest take away.

But more specifically, they usually wonder what I eat over here in Sweden, because there are not that many take away places close by.
Mostly I fix myself some easy to make meals, once a week I get a pizza or something from the strange, but great place across the street. I've even eaten some very strange stuff (for me) that no-one would've expected me to, like the reindeer heart and the strange fish dishes at the Christmas dinner. But the "kooking with koko" segment isn't about that. It's about the basic stuff keeping me up and about.

So here we go. We'll start with something basic. A good breakfast. I eat this at least 2 of the 7 days each week! It's quick. It's easy. It's even fun if you're not totally awake yet.

Ingredients:
Kellog's Corn Flakes
Milk
Sugar

Mix to taste. And bon appetit! For a change, you can even use warm milk to spice things up. If you're really adventurous, dump in a spoonful of garlic.

Next time, I'll show you I made some yummy ribs.
For those of you who prefer to get their hands dirty outside the kitchen, check out
http://greasophile.wordpress.com/
Learn some useful tips with a dash of dry humour. Greasophile is your friend.

Njoy.

Slippery Slope

Since I've been in Sweden, there's been a couple of questions that I am repeatedly asked. I'm going to try and answer the top 3 questions over the next couple of posts, in no particular order.

"So how was the skiing?" or variations thereof.

The only skiing I'm doing, is on the melted snow on the pavements.
I have no desire or need to tackle the slopes.
Why?

Well, because I don't see the thrill in it myself. Speeding downhill on two ski boards, flailing two ski poles about, dodging trees, mounds, hidden obstacles and bullets (leaning heavily on james bond and other movies as references). Okay, maybe it sounds kinda thrilling.

But mostly, because I'm too chicken.
Not that I fear the speed or the snow or the henchmen.
With all the ridiculous phobias people come up with, I was amazingly surprised to find there is no "scientific/medical" name for my phobia.
One of the funniest comments on it I found was that it was called "common sense".
So I'm just going to call it...skeletokakaphobia.
The fear of breaking a bone.
Specifically, my right tibia and fibula.
Again.
For the third time.
On a mountain slope.
In the cold.
In the snow.
Far from medical help.

A phobia is defined as an irrational fear. Even though I believe my fear is little bit rational,
I know that chances are re-e-e-eally slim of it happening again.
But I have no desire to risk it.

Well....maybe one of those kiddie slopes...Probably depends on which bad guys are chasing me.

Njoy.

Epiphany

Last Thursday, January 6, I got up like any other day. Ate my breakfast, packed my lunch and stumbled through the snow to my bus stop.
7:05am Regular Bus time.
7:10am Still no bus. So I guess it must have been early and I missed it. No Biggie.
7:17am Next bus across the road via the other route. My stop is almost at the end of two routes,
so there are regular buses.
7:30am Still no bus. Now I start to wonder whether my watches (wrist, cell and pc) are wrong or something.
7:37am Finally a bus arrives. Only 7 people in total. Weird.
8:00am or close enough. Arrive at an empty bus station.
Walk down the main street. Ahead of me I can see 2 or 3 people. and then it struck me.

Epiphany (from the ancient Greek "ἐπιφάνεια", epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something.
And for those of you (including me) who didn't know it.
Epiphany (from Koine Greek (ἡ) ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia "appearance", "manifestation") is a Christian feast day that celebrates the revelation of God in human form in the person of Jesus Christ. It falls on 6 January. And is not a national holiday back home, but here it is.

I was almost at work. Unfortunately, I don't have the alarm codes, so I might not get in. Might have to spend the next hour and a half for the next bus to get back home and lose the morning for nothing. Fortunately, someone else was already there and I swapped Thursday and Friday and had myself a nice long weekend.

And I finally decided I've had enough of winter. This is my third winter in a row. The second one with snow.
I would like to go out evenings and weekends.
Without trudging through blankets of snow or balancing precariously on the ice.
Without wrapping myself up like the Michelin Man against the cold.
Without it being light only from 9 to 4.
But on a positive note. The times are a changing.
It's already getting lighter earlier in the morning and darker later the afternoon.
I haven't gotten frostbite or anything.
My balance has improved (although after saying this I'm probably going to end up with my face in the snow tomorrow).
The current layers of snow are melting.
I am planning. First stop this year. Copenhagen.

Njoy.

Flying, Balancing and iPhoning

Humans are funny creatures.

Take the airport chaos with all the snow last month. People were outraged that flights were cancelled, that the airlines couldn't find room in overbooked hotels for them etc.
(The two kids in front of me at the check in desk in Paris actually shouted "yeah! It's gonna be like camping!" after finding out they're going to sleep on the airport floor somewhere. Even their parents didn't seem to really mind. Good for them).
And now the airline authorities want to impose heavy penalties on airports that don't respond good enough in future to events such as the weather (that they of course have total control over).
Way to have you're bread buttered on both sides.
Weather conditions are bad. Flights are delayed for the safety of the passengers. Definitely not for fun, the airlines lose a lot of money at such times. And then people jump up and down that they can't get to their destinations in time.
Let just one aeroplane try to depart or land in such weather and if (or rather when) something goes wrong, people jump up and down (if they're lucky) because their safety is not important to the airlines.
Yes, you missed a day or two or three that you'd rather have spent somewhere else, but at least you HAD that extra day or two or three and all the others after it.
Just chill. No shouting, swearing, huffing and puffing and blowing the house downing is going to change anything, except your blood pressure, which may in fact reduce your life expectancy and keep you from catching that delayed/rebooked flight!
So why not join me in a New Year's Resolution to just relax this year. To not take everything so seriously. To just accept and make the best of bad situations that you have no control over anyway.

And I bet a lot of those people also bought into the super-duper silicon arm band with a hectic cool hologram that does wonders for your balance, strength and flexibility. And something about negative ions that sounds like something a scientologist came up with.
Even the creators declared: "We admit that there is no credible scientific evidence that supports our claims."
No doubt those people that claim that the bands improve their skills, truly believe that it helps. And I'm not talking about all those famous sports personalities that take home a hefty fee for advertising the band and influencing the gullible masses.
Believing in something is really powerful. But why do we need something else to believe in other than ourselves? Why is it so much easier to give yourself a boost by pouring your confidence into a power band or a lucky sock or Barney the purple dinosaur?
The only answer I can think of is that we easily doubt our own abilities. We think we're not good enough or fast enough or thin enough and then try to take the easy way out and focus on power bands, power drinks, power diets. And a short while later they aren't "effective" anymore, and we jump on the next bandwagon.
Luckily I've never really tried any of those. Not because I don't have doubt in myself, but because I don't like trends. You will very rarely find me in the masses.
Still, another one of my New Years Resolutions will be to Believe in Myself and work for what I want.
Now I just have to figure out what do I want...

And finally, I just want to give a round of applause to some of the South African iPhone users that commented on a recent news report about the iPhone alarm issues. For those who don't know, due to a daylight savings setting or something, the iPhone time changed, but the alarm time did not and loads of iPhone users were late (or early) for various different things.
And for the above mentioned South African users that wondered why their alarms all went off with no problems whatsoever....S.A. doesn't have daylight savings time switches, so you don't have to worry, there is nothing wrong (or right) with your phones. You can sleep easy.
And no, I don't have a New Year's resolution to get an iPhone. I just don't like touch screens.
But it is time to try and sleep easy tonight.

Njoy

Flying Woes

Before I get to the new year, I'd like to finish the previous one.
And what a finish.

Started off quite....frustrating, but knowing that others were more affected than me, changed my perspective from frustrated to, eh, whatever. Another new adventure for me.

Of course I'm talking about the airport chaos during the holiday season.
My problems started on Friday night, when I realized I couldn't check in online and for some reason the online system don't recognize my reservation info. I had also not received my usual email from the airline inviting me to check in online. At that moment I was unaware of any issues at the airports, because silly me was only focused on Arlanda, which is quite capable of handling snow. So obviously I started to panic that something happened to my booking.
Used the last of my airtime to call Air France in Sweden only to get the voice message that they are only open from x to y and y was round about two hours earlier. Same for the South African office.
Thank goodness for Skype!! Was able to call the toll-free Air France number in the USA, which kept me on hold for about 20 minutes (awful music....all of our operators are busy...repeat) when I hung up and tried another number. With great relief I reached a human operator and she was very friendly and helpful and explained that my booking seems fine and that I can't check in online, because it is not yet 24h before boarding. Then I explained that it is almost 18h before boarding, because I am in Sweden, not the US, and called them because all other branches in the surrounding time zones were already closed. She then directed me to their online help line. Yes, you guessed it. After ANOTHER 20+ minutes on hold listening to that same stupid song over and over a techie finally answered and after listening to my sob story couldn't tell me why I can't check in online, but that my booking was fine and I should have no problem at the airport.

Well, there goes the easy way of obtaining a seat with some extra legroom by pre-selecting it while checking in online....so I decided I'd better get to the airport earlier the next day and try my luck there.
After a half hour bus drive and a two hour train ride I arrived at Arlanda Airport five hours before my flight. All the self help check in machines for Air France are closed and there are a row of about 30 people in front of me at the check in with only 2 counters manned. Almost 20 minutes later, there were 29 people in front of me and probably 50 behind me. Progress was realllly slow. After an hour and a bit I finally reach second in line, only to watch the empty first class/frequent flyer row suddenly sprout a row of privileged flyers and with their own special counter unmanned because the lady is walking around trying to calm people, they just cut in front of us economic losers. I must admit that I felt a small haha when they were told that the flight to Amsterdam was cancelled and that they have to report to the ticket counter for rebooking. The ticket counter line was longer than the check in line. With no special row for them. I felt an even better haha when they told me that my flight would be delayed by one hour, but I should still be able to make my connection in Paris within the 20 minutes available after landing. And my haha feeling just grew even more when I received a seat with extra leg room for free! So, with bag checked and boarding pass printed I headed to the gate to wait for my flight to paris to take off. And wait. And wait.

The 1 hour delay turned into 3 hours. Haha bubble burst. Connection missed.
Not really knowing what I was going to do, I boarded and flew to Paris.
Just before we got of the plane at Charles de Gaulle, one air hostess comes up to me and asks if I'm the passenger with the connection to Johannesburg.
Yes?!
If I hurry, I can still make the flight. It was delayed as well.
This was my first "visit" to Charles de Gaulle, so I had no idea where to go, but luckily the information boards were quite helpful, and with a sprint that I still can't believe didn't result in any airport security chasing me, I set off for the departure gate. Ran up and down escalators, just missed the train between the terminals, waited the excruciatingly long 3 minutes for the next one while panting loudly (one of my motto's is not to run unless chased...so I am NOT used to it...).
Sped up the final stairs to the security checkpoint only to find it closed. I shouted at a guy walking around behind it, but he just waved his hand with a "we're closed" and walked away. I don't know if I could have made it or not if they were open...but I didn't.
Sweating like a pig after running for what seemed a lot longer than the probably 10 to 15 minutes it took to get there, I turned around and headed back to the other terminal where I hoped someone could help me.

By the time I got to an Air France help desk, it was almost 2 a.m. on Sunday. The nearby hotels were fully booked. The other hotels weren't reachable or recommended as the snow might prevent people from getting back to the airport. So they handed out blue camping mattresses with an inflatable pillow and blanket, a tooth brush and a pair of (much needed) socks and a ticket (again with the extra leg room...I wasn't too tired to forget about that!) for a flight to Johannesburg at 23:20 on Sunday night, depending on the weather.
So I bought myself a coke zero (they didn't even have REAL COKE!!!!) and like so many others scratched out a pozzie of my own for the night.

After sleeping and waking repeatedly for about three hours (keeping my shoes near my head didn't even help me sleep), the airport started to get busy and noisy and I was too tired to try and sleep any more. So I packed up my stuff and set off for the terminal wondering how I was going to keep myself busy for 15 hours. And I have to say, I am not a fan of Charles de Gaulle airport. They have no decent restaurants. Just these cafe's or counters that sell sandwiches and croissants (which was great for breakfast, especially the chocolate filled ones), but what I needed to lift my mood was a nice steak or a rack of ribs or even a burger. No such luck.

Luckily they did have several free-to-play playstation points, but I could only play so much of the demo games focused on fun for the whole family (no blood and gore and real fun in other words...). They also had a couple of seats where two or three could watch a movie, so I watched "Men who stare at goats", which was very weird but really enjoyable, and out of boredom "bounty hunter", which was funnier than I expected. I wasn't bored enough to watch the Jeniffer Lopez flick and luckily the Guns of Navarone disc had been ejected by someone so I couldn't watch it.

So between marching up and down, trying to catch a nap on the floor around the corner from the smoking room, watching the movies, playing games and reading with my new favourite possession, time passed. The airport was closed for much of it, but by the afternoon they had cleared the runways and were starting to send people on their merry way until it was finally my turn to board the A380.

The plane was half empty. In my row of 4 seats I sat in the middle left, and a girl of probably 15 sat next to me. Hopefully because she wanted to sit close to her family, she moved and left me with four seats to myself. After a quick dinner after 1 a.m. monday morning, I threw my legs over the console between the aisle seat and mine, lifted the small arm rest between the two centre seats, constructed some kind of comfortable headrest with my jacket and complimentary inflatable pillow from the previous night and spent almost 8 hours sleeping blissfully. I wish every flight could be as good as that one, except without all the hassle preceding it.

Until finally, just after noon, I emerged into the wonderful warmth of the South African sun to spend the next two weeks with my family and friends.